Love and Let Go. The Struggles and Enlightenment of Finding your Place

Make me, break me.

In simplicity, that is the way the world works. You have ups and downs, much similar to a rollercoaster, or a heart-rate monitor. It’s a balance. Positivity cannot exist without its counterpart, negativity, not vice versa. Together they create the most harmonious symphony of coexistence.

In the whole crazy course of life, you’ll find people who will better yourself as a person, and those who make you realize some mind-blowing, earth-shattering fact that will leave you breathless, shocked, and speechless for days. You’ll see daylight, in the fact that you’ve been doing something so wrong, or maybe so right. Maybe you need to let go of that person/something that’s been causing you so much pain.

Kill your symbolic leech. Grab it off your back, and crush it under your heel with no regrets, relish that it can no longer hurt you.

I have to say, with an immense surge of self-empowerment, I have killed my leech.

My leech helped shape me to be who I am today, but it wore me down from the inside, feeding off my nutrients; slowly sucking my soul away in a ruthless, careless manner.

It’s funny how my leech wasn’t one sole person or thing. It was, in fact, my school’s Associated Student Body.

I joined Senate with the hopeful goal of being the voice for the students without one.

I quit Senate in a fiery rage of white-hot tears, with that goal still unaccomplished.

I am a quiet person. But when given the time, I will unleash a world full of creativity and wonder. I guess ASB doesn’t have that time for me.

What I dislike about ASB is that, one, it is one big clique. Everyone has their own group of friends, and they just keep to themselves, instead of reaching out to senators and being an actual ASB buddy. What’s the point of being a buddy if you only talk to your senator when you NEED to? Get out of your clique. Make a friend. We depend on you, ASB members. You’re supposed to live up to your aura of friendliness and optimism. Senators need you. Ineeded you.

Two, the unfairness of privilege that we Senators get compared to ASB. “Only ASB can do this”, “Only ASB can do that”, “ASB members only”, “We don’t need you.” What is the difference between ASB and Senate, besides the blue cardigans emblazoned with gold armbands signifying that yes, “I am in ASB”.

Three, the majority of the ASB members will only use Senators when they need them. Yes, I fully and completely understand that Senate is the workhorse for ASB, but please, take into consideration what the Senators want to do. Being in Senate isn’t a class like ASB. We are volunteering our time to help our school and be a part of it. Be nice to us. Please.

Stated in the previous sentence, be nice. Or ASB will just rule out to be what most of the students think ASB is; a bunch of try-hards only doing this for college resumes.

All those unheard thoughts of students without a link. You’ll never hear them, ASB. You’re too stuck in your big gaudy bubble.

I quit senate. I quit senate. I quit senate. I quit senate. I quit senate. I quit senate. I quit senate. 

I QUIT SENATE. 

No matter how much I say these words, either out loud or inside my cluttered mind, it still feels surreal. Dreamlike.

This is my first step to finding out who I am.

This is my first step to finding out what I want.

This is my first step to being happy.

Let go of the negativity surrounding you. You don’t need it. Nobody does. Let go of the pain, holding you back. Spread your wings and fly. Stretch your branches into the skies and grow. Change your perspective. Cry it out. Meditate. Do what you love. Feel your hurt. You’ll be okay. I cannot stress this enough- if something is bad, throw it away. Fling it with the most strength you have and hurl it against a wall, shattering it into a million pieces.

And without a heaviness in my heart, I shout:

Goodbye, ASB.

all the best

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